Opinion

OPINION: The Presidents and “Chimbuya”

By Dickson Jere

I was livid with this double-headed comedian, Brighton Sinkala, for ridiculing the President in public. He made outrageous jokes about the President’s knee injury that saw him undergo a major surgery in South Africa. The audience was stunned too by the daring antics of this Sinkala boy. At some point everyone went quiet with palms covering their mouths…unbelievable! How can Sinkala do such a thing to His Excellency, Mr. Rupiah Bwezani Banda, President of the Republic of Zambia and Commander In-chief of the Armed Forces!

And so, I walked to the podium, as press aide, to try and pump some sense in the head of this comedian – that it was totally wrong for him to joke about the President’s ailment at such a national event.

But before my mission could be accomplished, I overheard the President shouting as he waved me away from the podium.

“Leave him…” he said.

“Ni mu Bemba mambala uyo…” (he is Bemba that naughty boy).

And the audience burst in laughter and the atmosphere calmed down.

“We Zambians like light moments even in hardship…let’s encourage that…” the President said.

That is how the Ngoni or Nyanja and Bemba speaking people relate to each other and take advantage of every moment to tease each other…like I was recently painted white at a funeral!

Fast forward, at a serious press conference addressing national issues, a monkey appeared from nowhere and urinated on the President.

He paused in shock as he looked up the tree where the primate was hovering….

“Ah kanitundila…(ah, it has urinated on me”, he said, looking rather puzzled by the bizarre incident.

And then he turned the incident into a Ngoni-Bemba affair!

“I will give this monkey for lunch to Mr. Sata,” he said in jest, prompting laughter.

But then, it could be true that 6 of 10, are thieves! I will not mention them by tribe because Bembas will think I am talking about them.

59 Comments

  1. Abekala calo

    It is high time people learn to understand ichimbuya and politics. If you’re a bemba and you complain go into referendum so that you stop ichimbuya with easterns. Chapwa. If you support to stop ichimbuya with Ngonis inbox bembas.

    • vern

      Ichiweme chi ilombela umuchele

    • vern

      Ichiweme

    • leon

      Dangerous

    • Idi Amin

      In this post by Dickson Jere one cannot fail to notice who props up dictatorships. Like most dictators’ henchmen, Jere was intent on shutting up critics yet this wasn’t even his job.
      Most dictators leave the henchmen to their stupid acts and we people end up saying the leader is a good man. Its his advisors to blame. When a Henchman doesn’t know his job he unnecessarily focuses on defending his boss. This is in a desperate bid to have Muzungu anione Muzungu anikonde. In Mugabe’s regime, Mobutu’s regime you could see all these henchmen doing what they are not requested to do because they feel they are sharing power

  2. Hotness

    Bemba ngoni’s cousin ship will go a long way. We will not stop.

  3. richwell

    Kik ik ik ik ik ik ik chimbuya kwashala na lungu

  4. Katongo

    Thats how we relate people leave us enjoying the cousinship. Lungu used to eat too much rats and he lost in the bush while searching for rats sent 7 days no food nor water thats why you see him that way

  5. Katongo

    Thats how we relate people leave us enjoying the cousinship. Lungu used to eat too much rats and he lost in the bush while searching for rats spent 7 days no food nor water thats why you see him that way

  6. Daniel Banda

    It is understandable that there will be people who will target the president at everything he says to make political mileage. These will shut their minds so as to miss a hilarious moment like that. Such people will develop stress to shameful levels like is this public burst of expression of hate. It is expected.

  7. FGM

    Chimbuya is good but it can be misinterpreted when a joke is made by the President. Presidential statements become, National Policy.

    • More money in your pockets

      True he should have beaten about the bush not so direct

  8. Abekala calo

    Thanks for ur comments no one has supported the proposal I made of having a referendum over ichimbuya between bembas and easterns.

  9. Zambian

    Koma muno mu muchalo ma politics bazafunta nayo Bantu, everything is now political? Mu Bemba na waku mawa ni patali, you will never saparete us. Mark my words.

  10. Kilimajaro

    Mwachiona chikambwili chichita monga sichezedyela pamodzi ndi a president lelo chapindamuka chifukwa chochipisha chito. Vimajelasi. Uyo muoneni kope monga pamipita bachimbwi.

  11. Skb

    It’s a pity that those who complain the loudest are people who are jealousy of cousinship. People who feel disadvantaged by our continued unity. People who loose elections when Easterners and their cousins say ” NO” to them. Our Chimbuya goes far beyond cheap politics. SATA used to tease us.Why should Lungu’s jokes with his cousins become political headlines?Cheap politics will not take YOU to STATE HOUSE. Revise and market your MANIFESTOS!!!!!!!!! This cousinship will last longer than you will ever imagine. Peace, Love and Harmony.

  12. Alena Musumba

    State house has reserved monkeys for Bembas because they are becoming an extinct species so you six Bembas don’t sneak into State house and poach all. I know someone is also salivating for senior chief Nkula and paramount chief Chitimukulu have reservoirs of mice in their farms so one chief warrior from Eastern is intending to invade these fields. Guess who?

  13. PEPESOUP

    Leave this column posted. I’m enjoying the jokes, why hiding it?

  14. PEPESOUP

    Abekala Calo
    Why referendum “icimbuya chakale that’s even names of our offsprings are sides like Mutale Banda, Chileshe Phiri Chanda Ngulube Chilufya Ngoma I can go on and on its a none ending list. So those who have teamed up to frustrate our relationship are a doomed society. Shame to them.

  15. kambwili

    That’s what happens, when someone was making a pronouncement seriously, Zambians take it as a joke. The only president you could joke with was Bwezani for sure. Aba bambi te ma jokes, they mean just that.

  16. Taapa Lele

    Attention zambian! do not make mistake to fuck a bemba lady,these ladies are very lazy and cold.

  17. Zondani Manyozo Zulu

    Why vinthu viri so mu zam

  18. Rocky

    Ulefwaya nangu taulefwaya, what President said about 6 out of 10 bemba whatever,,,. It was just a bemba- ngoni cousinship joke. Even the paramount bemba chief Kanyanta sosala has clarified the statement. Ba kambwili muisebenye fye. Deep down your heart you know very well that the president meant a mare joke not a presidential statement.

  19. BEMBA CHIEFS

    we can’t tolerate chimbuya with Tonga cows and Lozi goats fuck off

  20. King cool

    Guys update me, am lost in the wilderness. What did Lungu said that has angered some of my people..Am only hearing chimbuya and the President. What is it all about.. we want we Tongaz and loziz to continue with our cousinship . it is also getting stronger and stronger. Mind you we Tongaz and loziz we know how to vote…we vote on tribal line..

  21. Ben

    Pilato imba nalumbi ulwiimbo lwa ci mbuya! Bakulonge mu ma celu.

  22. CHANDA LEWIS

    ba jere chishinka mwalanda.mu kanjipushisheko ba paramount chief mpezeni ngati ba nsenga nangu ba ngoni pantu balandafye ichinsenga tabaishiba ichingoni.im sure is the ngoni by birth not by tribe.

  23. Mr. Bemba land is great

    Whoever wants to achieve political mileage over this joke will never go anywhere no body will divert Bemba’s to vote for upnd bcz of this beautiful chimbuya joke easterners and Bemba’s are one why didn’t the president lable other tribes as thieves? Let him be free with bembas

  24. MJ

    Most of people hurt are tongas y?

  25. fisunge

    Thats why my dotas will marry only from the east so that it becomes easy for me to shout at them in case you didn’t know kambwili s son is planning to marry tasila lungu for them to reconcile thats why kambwili talks like that and he’s not taken seriously by easterners so other tribes pls dont involve yourselves in the traditional cousinship between bembas easterners the president is included in this bandwagon

  26. CHANDA LEWIS

    you know my brother zambia is like afootball team to say which composes different tribes and when you say chimoneni icii some its any insults but to your tribe cousen wil not take it seriouse.much i know its bemba vs ngoni. lozi vs tomga but idont know others like chewa, nsemga tumbuka okey permition granted you can apply its 500pin application form just call +260900000000 or deposite your money in zanaco bemba- a/c 00001111112222

  27. Augprina

    Shame upon foolish Tongas and Lozi fake cousenship! VIVA Benba and Ngoni cousenship. Ngacakubaba enda uzikulike IDIOT!!

  28. Trevor pambwe

    Pipo wts dis so called 6 of 10 nichani

  29. Dr Fonicks

    those dunderheads politicizing the issue are just lunatics. unless President Lungu told another tribe, then one take offense. a true bemba like me has no problem. umubemba uulendapo ifya bupuba is not trully bemba. bushe pali ifya kunonkelamo ama politics awe. mwe fipuba mwe ni jealous fye mwatukwatila nabena eastern. if you don’t have a true cousin change your dog ir anything be it goat, cow, name them into a cousin. mulenashako ubututu. onse uufulilwe ni mbushi nga naufilwa campaign ukese nkakulange ifyo bacita pa campaign. mwabe fimitwe nga bread ilya twalelya kale supa loaf.

  30. Mmj

    Chimbuya is good it should continue I for one can’t be offended by the bemba guy wishing them a merry Christmas and prosperous new year

  31. Mmj

    Chimbuya is good it should continue I for one can’t be offended by the bemba guys wishing them a merry Christmas and prosperous new year

  32. Domity Kafwamba

    No jokes when duty calls. The president was wrong to bring cousinship at such a serious event. Let the truth be told.

  33. Kela

    Chimneys ship should be abashed in this day and age

  34. Joseph

    The words of, mr jemason are true, the bemba’s are thieves.

  35. Spoiler

    Living the life of a schizophrenic – thinking to live the life in the 21st century, but mentally desiring the 18th century…..
    Know that culture is dynamic and one that doesn’t evolve is as good as dead

  36. Noah lutandula

    It’s good to have ichimbuya but with limit.

  37. LUAPULA NTONDO

    Awe fwebene twalitemwana na ba Ngoni lekeni icikwela bane.

  38. Pamusebo

    Next I will take him to Chainama hospital for medication.

  39. Abekala calo

    Ba pepesoup tamwakwata amano. Pali ifwakutukana apa.we are just having fun,u re the same who don’t understand ichimbuya. Kuleni.

  40. Stylish

    Lets pilato enjoy with his cousin lungu by telling him facts through chimbuya never complain ba lungu edgar

  41. Umwana wamano

    Tulandeko icimbuya nabakucipata Bambi ebalefulilwamo ninshi tamwakwata bambuya benu??

  42. Richard Sakala

    Dickson Jere’s story is full of Muzungu wangaism. A Press Assitant advises the president on how to treat the media, what to say and when to say it. This ka Banda’s villagemate thinks he has to shut up critics! Just like Ka Chanda does. These people think they share the President’s powers. Even in their bar talk they want to boast about how they wont allow this and that from HH or Kambwili or whoever the opposition is. You boys are not elected! You have no powers.
    This job’s biggest problem is that it has no job description so the press Assistant depends on how many smiles he is bringing to the President’s face when he is bootlicking him.

    • Abash Press Assistants

      This post should be abolished. It is just a drain on our tax. I will stop paying tax if it is just to pay noisemakers like Chandaa and Jere

  43. mutule

    Chimbuya has a limit ..ameno ububi

  44. mmmmm

    Our president was just right he wosnt wrong with wat he said, mukabatwalileko fye imbeba isha masako

  45. Bwalya$

    Kkkkkk yaba but fyakuchipata so alitemwa mwaiche Lungu

  46. justin

    Chimbuya is a sighn of love and oneness,it does not mean when a bemba man jokes with waku mawa it means they dont respect each other dont get it twisted. If you dont know anything about the chimbuya thing stay away leave us alone..

  47. Janebarron

    The cousin ship between Bembas and chewas plays an important role in fight against tribalism in Zambia, so leave them

  48. Mushala mutamba kyalo

    Bembas open up your mind set, do not tolerate no sense you are the most important and knowledgeable peoples respective tribe, but you are busy tolerating no sense, no chimbuya on a serious matter so call LUNGU TO APOLOGIZE TO THE MOST HIGH BEMBAS CHIEFs. Note:pilato was arrested for the same thing why? Wash up your mind set do not be pursued with salt by YOUR LUNGU.

  49. Not sure

    Bembas open up your mind set, do not tolerate no sense you are the most important and knowledgeable peoples respective tribe, but you are busy tolerating no sense, no chimbuya on a serious matter so call LUNGU TO APOLOGIZE TO THE MOST HIGH BEMBAS CHIEFs. Note:pilato was arrested for the same thing why? Wash up your mind set do not be pursued with salt by YOUR LUNGU.

  50. Pilato

    Zambians wakeup!!! when a Zambian musician CHAMA Fumba(potato) released a song against you so called lungu he was in hell but today you are busy saying icimbuya icimbuya ifyabupa!!!

Comments are closed.